—- Original Message —-
From: Brian
Date: Tue, 30 Oct 2001
To: Weshit
Subject: Poop out of water
Dear Board and Trustees of WESHIT
It is with great pleasure and honor that BRIANIMAL, Inc. has been asked to submit a piece for display on the WESHIT website.
After first hearing of this request, the BRIANIMAL Board of Directors was elated to be considered in such high society circles as WESHIT. The BRIANIMAL Board recognizes WESHIT to be the leader and premier website of all things shit.
After searching long and hard for specimen to submit, the BRIANIMAL Board of Directors would like to call to your attention “Poop Out Of Water”.
Poop Out of Water is a recent piece (October 2001), and was inspired by a tuna sandwich. We at BRIANIMAL feel that it captures the true essence of WESHIT and its very means of existence. Just the sheer size of it places it in caliber of no other.
Background of Poop Out of Water –
Much like his forefathers who suffered in the desert 2000 years before him, the artist (who wishes to remain anonymous) suffered with this bad-boy on a 2 hour bike ride before he could even think of letting it loose: Cramping set in around the 1.5 hour mark; but the artist was determined to finish his bike ride and find an appropriate receptacle for his deposit. As you can imagine, this turd did not belong in just any porcelain dish.
Now what makes this piece so impressive is not just its sheer size; but is its consistency and texture after enduring such a long ride. And a clean break – with a “bonus poopy”! – who could ask for anything more? And as you would expect with any spectacular poopy – this guy was a 1-wiper!
In closing, the BRIANIMAL Board of Directors wish to thank you again for your support and consideration for your exhibit.
Brian
Founder and CEO
BRIANIMAL